I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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