I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
