When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
