Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize