South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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