so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
