the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
