im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
