Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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