Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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