I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
