somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
