Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
