It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize