You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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