bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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