I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
