you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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