You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
North Korea, Best Korea!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
