All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
