SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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