I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize