bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
