ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
