Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
A+ Viking dick
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize