I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
