Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
