You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
