Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
if i died would you start the facebook group?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
