I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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