i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
