This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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