Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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