I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
