Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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