South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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