The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
