Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
