she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
