My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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