Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
