i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
