Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
