CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize