Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
