FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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