opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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