i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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