I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
you never un-have a 4some
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
