Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
worst night to have a conscience
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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