I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
