Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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