What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize