he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
