YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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