So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Randomize
