No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
