in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
