He asked to "fluff my boner.."
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We had to coat check the pizza.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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