I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
