I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
