i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
