all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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